You want me write an article during the most pivotal election in American history?! You're so selfish. (Just kidding - this one is about our decision not to have kids).
Loved this, Lindsey. Your reflections on parenting and self-doubt resonate deeply. I’m in rural France, daughter in NYC, navigating the quirks of a 1647 farmhouse, with ducks as my only audience. Days like that make me question everything, but sharing these stories reminds me we’re not alone in our struggles.Thank you!
I spent much of my teenage years raising siblings and babysitting, and that was more than enough child-rearing for me. I knew when I was 22 that being a mother to a baby - or a *toddler* - was not for me. I love my niece and nephew, and I'm also very relieved to hand them back to my sister. I have my three Beastie Boys and they are all the family I could want. 💙🐾
Oh yeah I can totally see why that would result in not wanting kids. It’s exhausting! Love my nieces and nephew but the silence after they leave is quiet nice
Great post and message. The decision to not have children should be normalized and celebrated more. I have 2 girls I love, feel blessed, wouldn’t change a thing about my own family. Bottom line though is it isn’t anyone’s Fn business if a woman and/or couple chooses to not (or is unable to) have children. Why people feel comfortable with any follow on comments/questions about that is mind boggling.
The world has far too many children who don’t feel loved. Imo, there’s absolutely nothing “selfish” about not having kids. If you’re not all in on that one, don’t do it. I applaud everyone who gets that, whether they have kids or not.
Love this! For us it was a matter of paying attention to how we felt about it. Once our friends started wanting kids they described a significant yearning to be a parent (mostly women, but also men). We checked in over the years, "Have you ever felt that?" "Nope, me neither." We're both great with kids, love being godparents, but we clearly discerned that parenting is not our calling. Also helpful was that my mom literally told me, "never have children," and only my father-in-law ever even asked.
Yes exactly! That's so smart. And agreed. People who want to have kids describe that feeling of yearning and it just never came to me or Coby either. It's kind of incredible that no one but the FIL ever asked. Good on them
I often think of how my mother would beg my child-free-by-choice spouse and me (when in our late 30s; currently early 40s) to have grandkids, specifically a girl. She already has four grandchildren who are boys, you see, so it was paramount that we'd "give" her a girl, like a sacrificial offering. When I pressed my mother on what we would do if the baby weren't biologically a girl, she said we could keep trying for one.
... what?? Anywho, my mother's a lunatic and we are still child-free, thank goodness. We live an incredibly fulfilling pet and travel-filled life. No complaints.
My Mom did this too! Not specifically a girl but she made a big show of being devastated that she wasn’t getting grandkids and that I wasn’t doing my duty to give them to her. …huh? She’s since said she was wrong but it was a wild ride 😂
I’m so glad you liked it and it resonated!! Thanks for reading.
Bless that little ladies heart!!
Right?! So sweet
Loved this, Lindsey. Your reflections on parenting and self-doubt resonate deeply. I’m in rural France, daughter in NYC, navigating the quirks of a 1647 farmhouse, with ducks as my only audience. Days like that make me question everything, but sharing these stories reminds me we’re not alone in our struggles.Thank you!
Thank you, Jenny! I appreciate you taking the time to read it and I’m so glad it resonated with you.
I spent much of my teenage years raising siblings and babysitting, and that was more than enough child-rearing for me. I knew when I was 22 that being a mother to a baby - or a *toddler* - was not for me. I love my niece and nephew, and I'm also very relieved to hand them back to my sister. I have my three Beastie Boys and they are all the family I could want. 💙🐾
Oh yeah I can totally see why that would result in not wanting kids. It’s exhausting! Love my nieces and nephew but the silence after they leave is quiet nice
Great post and message. The decision to not have children should be normalized and celebrated more. I have 2 girls I love, feel blessed, wouldn’t change a thing about my own family. Bottom line though is it isn’t anyone’s Fn business if a woman and/or couple chooses to not (or is unable to) have children. Why people feel comfortable with any follow on comments/questions about that is mind boggling.
The world has far too many children who don’t feel loved. Imo, there’s absolutely nothing “selfish” about not having kids. If you’re not all in on that one, don’t do it. I applaud everyone who gets that, whether they have kids or not.
Yes thank you! This is exactly how I feel. You want kids? Great. You don’t? Awesome.
Love this! For us it was a matter of paying attention to how we felt about it. Once our friends started wanting kids they described a significant yearning to be a parent (mostly women, but also men). We checked in over the years, "Have you ever felt that?" "Nope, me neither." We're both great with kids, love being godparents, but we clearly discerned that parenting is not our calling. Also helpful was that my mom literally told me, "never have children," and only my father-in-law ever even asked.
Yes exactly! That's so smart. And agreed. People who want to have kids describe that feeling of yearning and it just never came to me or Coby either. It's kind of incredible that no one but the FIL ever asked. Good on them
I’ve heard this type of reasoning before. Unfortunately, it was from my mom. Thanks, as always, for sharing and enlightening.
🤣 thanks, as always, for reading, liking and commenting.
Loved this!
I often think of how my mother would beg my child-free-by-choice spouse and me (when in our late 30s; currently early 40s) to have grandkids, specifically a girl. She already has four grandchildren who are boys, you see, so it was paramount that we'd "give" her a girl, like a sacrificial offering. When I pressed my mother on what we would do if the baby weren't biologically a girl, she said we could keep trying for one.
... what?? Anywho, my mother's a lunatic and we are still child-free, thank goodness. We live an incredibly fulfilling pet and travel-filled life. No complaints.
My Mom did this too! Not specifically a girl but she made a big show of being devastated that she wasn’t getting grandkids and that I wasn’t doing my duty to give them to her. …huh? She’s since said she was wrong but it was a wild ride 😂
I’m so glad you liked it and it resonated!! Thanks for reading.
Congrats on your mother apologizing! What a feat lol
🤣 getting grandkids from my brother helped
Thank you for verbalizing my inner thoughts on a daily basis. One of my favorite reads thus far!
Yay! I’m so glad you liked it! 🥰
You did it again.❤️🥰💋
😘😘
Loved this & good for you! Also, your sweet Stella is beautiful and looks like my handsome boy Jameson. Golden’s are the best ♥️